Five Things To Avoid When You're With My Brother
by lasmn
Summary: When Luffy's distant relative comes to visit, the D. Brothers each give her their own lists of five things she shouldn't do...TWO-SHOT COMPLETED!
1. Ace's List Regarding Luffy

This is a cute little two-shot story I had thought up at around midnight the previous night. I hope you enjoy! And for all of you who don't know Ayrel, she's my own character. Read the notes at the bottom of chapter one of my story Straw Hat Legacies: The Name's Caout and read chapters 15 and 16 of that story to learn about her.

Disclaimer: I have never owned One Piece and I never will.

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Ten year old Ayrel sat on a rock by a small river. She brushed some of her brown hair out of her eyes. It had been three days since she arrived on Dawn Island…Three days since she first met her very distant cousin, the eight year old Luffy, and his adopted brother, the eleven year old Ace.

Ayrel and Ace had gotten off to a decent start. He was pleasant company. But Luffy and Ayrel were anything but friends…They did not like each other at all. Perhaps because Ayrel's Spark-Spark Fruit powers and Luffy's Gum-Gum Fruit powers were opposites…

Ayrel turned when she heard footsteps coming up from behind her. Her dark brown eyes caught sight of Ace. He walked casually towards her, a piece of paper in his hand.

"Hey, Ace!" Ayrel greeted with a smile, "What's up?"

"Nothing much," Ace responded, holding out the paper, "Here…It's for you."

Ayrel took the paper and looked at it. On the top, in big letters, were the words "FIVE THINGS TO AVOID WHEN YOU'RE WITH LUFFY". Ayrel gave Ace a look, wondering what was this about.

"You said you're going to be staying here for a while, right?" Ace said, "Well, I took the liberty of making a list of things you should never do when you're with Luffy."

"Why would I be with that rubber idiot in the first place?" Ayrel replied with a frown.

"C'mon, Ayrel," Ace said, "Just read it…"

Ayrel sighed and decided to take a look at what Ace had written. She admired his rather neat handwriting before reading the first item.

_1. Never replace Luffy's straw hat with a fedora. I don't care how cute you think he looks in it. He will be mad and won't speak to you for around five days._

Ayrel looked up at Ace.

"A year back, Luffy, Sabo and I accidently broke into a hat shop," Ace explained, "It's a long story…"

"Why a fedora?" Ayrel asked.

"Fedoras are cool."

Ayrel shook her head and looked back at the list

_2. Don't explain where rubber comes from. He will spend the next five weeks believing he was born from a tree._

"There's no way he'd be _**that**_ stupid!" Ayrel laughed, only to quiet down when she saw Ace solemnly nodding his head.

_3. Do not ask why he counts five meals a day when he's calculating how many meals he missed while he was doing something. He will assume you mean that he should be counting more meals a day. And, damn it, I will __**not**__ be spending extra time in that __**godforsaken**__ forest just to satisfy his __**insane**__ appetite!_

"You know," Ayrel said, "Your appetite isn't much better, Ace…"

"Just shut up and read the stupid list," Ace responded, crossing his arms in front of him.

The next item on the list was interesting…

_4. In the name of all that is holy, __**DO NOT**__ answer him when he asks you why Dadan seems extra moody and extra cranky for a few days each month. Four your own sake, my sanity and his purity, __**PLEASE IGNORE HIM**__! I beg of you, just walk away if he asks this! __**DO NOT RESPOND**__!_

Ayrel had absolutely nothing to say to this…And Ace was glad for that…He didn't want her to know how many close calls he had with Luffy about that particular item on the list.

Ayrel turned her attention to the last thing that she should avoid, as stated by the list. She couldn't help herself. She grinned and let out a small laugh.

"What's so funny?" Ace asked, a small blush creeping across his face, "I'm dead serious about that last one!"

"I know," Ayrel replied as she stood up. She ruffled the older boy's hair, "And that's why I'm laughing…It too cute! And so like you!"

Ace pushed the girl's hand away and walked off, a little embarrassed. Ayrel looked back to the list and reread the last item before safely stowing the list in the pouch that was attached to her leg…

_5. Now this is the most important thing, so pay attention! Do not, and I mean never ever, tell Luffy that you hate him…or make him cry…Because if you do…__**I will kill you**__…_

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You would be surprised how long it took me to make this even though it is so short! But I am in love with this! Isn't that so like Ace, the last one? In a couple days, I will put out the second half of the story!

Read and review please!


	2. Luffy's List Regarding Ace

Here is the second half of this little story. I'm glad people thought it was so cute! I really enjoyed making it! So, now that we've read Ace's list…Let's get started on Luffy's list!

Disclaimer: As usual, I do not own One Piece.

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Ayrel was leaning against the wall of the tree house that Ace and Luffy had built a while back. The pencil in her hand flew across the page of her sketchbook. She was drawing this beautiful bird that was perched on the windowsill. Such a cute creature…

"Hey, electric lady!"

Ayrel flinched at Luffy's voice. She watched with disappointment as the bird flew away in fright. Ayrel put her book back into her pouch and glared at the rubber boy.

Luffy had a frown on his face as well. He looked like he didn't want to be anywhere near Ayrel…There was a piece of paper in his hand.

"What do you want, Lu?" Ayrel asked, smiling as the boy growled at the nickname.

"Here! For you!" Luffy said briskly as he held out the paper to her.

Ayrel took the paper and looked it over. She instantly felt an overwhelming sense of déjà-vu. On top was written the words "FIVE THINGS TO AVOID WHEN YOU'RE WITH ACE". Hadn't Ace given her a list like this one just two days ago?

"Let me guess," Ayrel said, "You want to warn me about certain things I shouldn't do around Ace…"

Luffy nodded and waited for Ayrel to read the list. With a sigh, she looked at what Luffy had listed. She frowned at the boy's barely legible, chicken scratch handwriting…

_1. Don't play connect the dots with Ace's freckles when he's sleeping…He will become very mean and will yell a lot when he wakes up. And the freckles don't even make a cool picture!_

Ayrel raised an eyebrow at Luffy.

"How many times did you do this?" she asked.

"Only five times!" Luffy insisted, adding in barely a whisper, "…Every week…"

Ayrel shook her head and returned to the list.

_2. Never, __**ever**__ ask him about his family. He becomes such a Mister Grumpy McSourpuss about it…Even though he has the coolest dad ever! His dad is the Pirate Ki-Oops…I shouldn't have wrote that…Ignore that last part!_

"'Grumpy McSourpuss'?" Ayrel read aloud, "Are you serious?"

"I wrote something else before," Luffy replied, "But Makino said that was a bad thing to say…"

"And you _do_ realize that instead of writing 'Ignore that last part', you could have just crossed out what you wrote?"

Luffy groaned, as though that thought didn't occur to him. Well, he shouldn't have bothered hiding it…Ayrel already knew about Ace's family history. She read the next item on the list.

_3. Do not put one of his hands in a glass of cold water and the other hand in a glass of warm water while he's having one of his weird random sleep attacks. He won't find this funny… Not…at…all…_

"Sabo and I did it once a while back," Luffy explained when Ayrel gave him a look, "It was really funny! …Until Ace woke up…Then, it became really, _**really**_ scary."

Luffy shuddered from the memory while Ayrel continued reading. She didn't want to know what Ace did as punishment for that.

_4. __**NEVER EVER, EVER **__ask him how much money he owes restaurant owners because of all his dine and dashes! Just don't ask! Say that you don't know anything about it, even if you do! Say that you know nothing about dine and dashes…Those big scary guys in the black suits will come after you too if they find out you know about the money! __**JUST SAY NOTHING IF YOU SEE THEM**__! _

Ayrel put a hand to her forehead. She couldn't believe it…These boys weren't teenagers and they already had bill collectors after them…

When Ayrel saw the last item on the list, she burst out laughing. Luffy growled at the girl.

"What are you laughing about?" Luffy demanded.

Ayrel pointed at the source of her laughter. Luffy looked and immediately turned a dark shade of red. He crossed his arms in front of him.

"I know it sounds weird!" Luffy said, "But it's the truth!"

"I know!" Ayrel said, "And that's why I'm laughing!"

Ayrel stood up and tucked the list into her pouch, where the list Ace gave her was. She proceeded to head towards the door of the tree house, Luffy in tow. Before she exited, Ayrel turned to look down at Luffy.

"You know," she said, "It's hard to believe you and Ace aren't related…You two are so much alike!"

As she jumped out of the tree, Ayrel though about the last item on the list.

_5. Okay, this is the last one but it's the most important! Of everything, you have to follow this one the most, okay? Do not, I repeat, __**DO NOT**__ hurt Ace in any way, shape or form…He'll try to kick your ass if you do. But if he doesn't…__**I'll definitely do it for him**__!_

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And so, here is the end of part two of this little tale! Did you like it? I tried to stay Luffy-like with his list. I love the D. Brothers and I think their bond is adorable!

Read and review! Luffy and Ace command it!


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